Where have I been and where am I going?

I feel so lost yet tied safely to some distant shore being pulled in to my future self.  I do not want to look back over my now finished childhood of 18 years, but I have to.  To be honest, I have had it rough.  I never realized just how rough until I was talking to someone about it.  This woman who has helped me so much already has showed me that my life has been lived, and although I cannot relive it or change what happened, it shaped who I am.  In order to find myself and start my future, I must face my past and use it, good and bad, for me.

When you go through tragedy, people feel sorry for you.  When you get dealt a rotten hand, people expect you to rise above it.  When the first 15 years of your life brings you nightmares and heartache, you have trouble allowing people to love and care about you.  I have complete 19 years of life, and I can honestly say that the last 4 have been the best.  I am working on so many things in my life right now that I feel this blog is going to come in handy.  I say, bring on the waterworks.

One thing at a time though…

s p r i n g b r e a k
Spring break in college means a handle of vodka a night, MTV beach parties, almost naked rendezvous, and of course building a house.  What!?  That’s right folks.  I gave up my first college spring break so that I could build a house for Habitat for Humanity in Mobile, Alabama.  Boy was it worth it.
After a treacherously long and bonding 10-hour ride in a 15-passenger van, the lush hotel in the exotic New Orleans was very welcomed by me and the 44 other students and faculty at Oxford College of Emory University who decided to participate in the Alternative Spring Break ‘09 experience.  We did not enjoy the hotel for too long.  As soon as we could all manage to make ourselves look decent using our humble luggage of 2 small bags, we hit the streets of the big easy.  A majority ended up at this amazing yet way overpriced and much too complicated authentic Cajun restaurant which I cannot pronounce.  After spending a few hours burning off the billions of calories we consumed by walking through New Orleans including the French Quarter and Bourbon Street, it was back to the hotel to sleep.

The sleep was much needed, because by noon the next day we were on the road again traveling 3 hours to Mobile, Alabama.  On our way out of this magnificent city that I have fallen in love with, we took a minor detour through the ninth ward.  It was hard to hold back the tears.  I could write an entire blog just about this one 20 minute drive.  The situation in New Orleans may have gotten better, but it is not where it should be.  I plan on going back there soon.  That city captured my heart.  I could photography for weeks there.  I hope I never forget New Orleans.

Our fancy hotel  mattresses were traded for fancy air-mattresses on the floor of a church.  The friends I made during the week in that church were definitely worth the 5-minute showers and extreme sleep-deprivation.  Waking up at 6:30 every morning to go hammer and saw a house together was better than any drunken beach-holiday.  This house will be bought and lived in by a low-income needy family for a reasonable price.  For these individuals to be able to own a house that they pay for is something they only dreamed of being able to do.  All of the hard work and frustration combined with the afternoon at the beach and the amazing food we were fed all week were insignificant compared to fact that I built a house for spring break.

f u t u r e p l a n s

I am almost finished with my first year of college!!!  After next year I will have an associates degree and be headed on my way to Emory College for my Bachelor’s in Psychology.  This is insane!!!!!  It is so hard not to get ahead of myself right now.

In about 6 weeks I will have a 4 month summer break from classes.  My step mom said she is going to try to get me a job working at a pediatrics office with her.  What she really wants is for me to stay home all summer and die of boredom.  She says she will pay me to stay home and babysit my 5 year old brother.  I plan on putting together a professional portfolio of my photography, finding ways to promote my photography, and learning more about photography.    I also want to get involved at my church with the children.  I am thinking about having a summer camp or something that I could use all of my experiences in college to help these kids realize just how big the world really is.

After my unbelievably long summer, I will be heading back to college as a Sophomore.  I will be an Resident Assistant!!  That is right people, I got accepted as both a Resident Assistant and a Peer Assistant Leader.  I chose RA.  I will also be participating in a small and prestigious cancer research program with the organic chemistry professor.  On top of all of this, I will be taking rigorous classes and preparing for med school and Emory College.  I am so involved on campus; I can’t wait.

Well, now that I have taken way too much time writing this post, it is time for me to peace out.  I know this is two posts in one day, but what the heck.

If you actually read all that, T H A N K S!!!